"...the presence of Ferdinand on my upper lip ensured that every care must be taken to prevent the food depositing itself on his furry body."

Mes Amis

For your delight and delectation, something I had previously believed to be some urban myth perpetuated by scruffy haired raconteurs at crime writing conventions:

The Mammarologist

Oh yes, you read that right: As a phrenologist tells the future by feeling heads so Schwartzball makes his predictions by feeling mammaries.

Cheers, Phil

Au revoir

Russel