Reasons To Hate Email: one, two, three...

Mes Amis

I think email is wonderful. I love the internet. I love technology. I think its all wonderful but at the same time email poses its own peculiar problems for me, several of which I have recently come into contact with:

1) Spam. Spammity Spam Spam. Spammers fuck off. Its not even as convincing as fuckin junk email. Its just shit. Everybody knows it's all bullshit. Who actually clicks on the fucking links?

2) Instant communication. Its another thing to make those of us with a slightly wobbly self esteem worry. When you send an email, especially if you feel you may have made a tit of yourself in it (if its personal or professional) or if you really need to know the answer to a question you can end up sitting near the computer for ages, worrying about a) why they haven't replied (have I made a tit of myself?) or b) Whether the thing got through (Are they not replying because they don't know the answer to the question? Or again, have I made a tit of myself?).

3) The Name Game. Many email addresses bear no relation to the person who holds it. Great, fantastic. I love cute e-addresses and think many of them are funny. But by the same token many people give you their address and then forget to put their actual name beside it. Which for me has lead to my guessing the person's real name (Like most people I forget names when people tell me in conversation; unlike most people I remember them very well when I see them written down) and occasionally (this is a theme) making a tit of myself.

But 3 is not too bad. Especially if the other person has a sense of humour about the whole thing. Besides, people get my name wrong all the time. I was known as Richard for much of Harrogate for some reason. But 1 is the most annoying. And 2 might just be worrying for the obsessive compulsives among us.

And in the end, the benefits outweight the losses.

But it would all be better if the spammers just fucked off.

Au Revoir

Russel