Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Eye of the Badger

Mes Amis

Mr Allan Guthrie is slowly setting into place the plans for his world domination. After using his mind control techniques to turn everyone who goes to see him at the Edinburgh Book Festival into his willing slaves, he's going to use the same techniques at Bouchercon. But, it seems, according to a recent interview at the Secret Dead Blog he also plans to be official fights co-ordinator for the event. He has special events planned for Jason Starr vs Ken Bruen, David Hale Smith vs Mark Stanton and, most brutal of all, following up from his bout with the flesh devouring Ruth Rendell, Ray Banks vs yours truly! Ray claims he's bringing weapons to the party, but I shall enter the arena armed with nothing more than stripey fur and my burrowing forearms.

Till next time, mes amis, if I am still alive...

Au Revoir

Russel

10 comments:

Ray said...

Oh no. No weapons. When I talk guns, I mean these motherfuckers (starts flexin'). I like to call the left fist Good and the right fist Night.

HAI!

that girl said...

Everybody knows badger loves MASH POTATO!...On reflection Russ, does that mean you have bodgers hand up your arse?

John R. said...

Burrowing forearms aren't to be underestimated in a fight. For starters, you can always tunnel your way down through the base of the ring and force Ray to follow you down into the darkness under the earth - your home territory, where you'll have the upper hand...

Russel said...

Rather Bodger's hand than Ray's fists of fury... Although neither option is very comfortable...

But I might avoid that thanks to your sound, tactical advice, Mr Rickards. Yes... The way to go is with cunning which will outwit the brute force of the Banks every time...

Jennifer Jordan said...

I'd throw a cat his way. No doubt he won't be able to resist mangling it which gives you the opportunity of mayhem unrestricted by 'fists of fury'.

JR, where did you get that cool avatar, you bastard?

Ray said...

If you're going to use the Bodger and Badger technique, I will have to counter with the De Courcey Nookie Bear combo.

We shall see who will emerge triumphant from the Battle Of The Rubbish Ventriloquists!

that girl said...

I hold the towel for Russ.
He'd retaliate with a keith and Orville special roundhouse.
Ha! Russ 1 Ray 0

John R. said...

Jen, I yoinked it from a bunch of LJ icons Warren Ellis posted here. Although the animation on that and the other smoking one (which I also yoinked at the time) is rather patchy so I re-edited the gif to make it smoother.

I'm dead techie, me.

Jennifer Jordan said...

I'm half techie, half slacked-jawed moron.

Russel said...

Ha, Ray, ya see, Becs there is like my Mickey; she'd got me punching meat hanging off hooks and running up and down the steps of the Caird Hall in preparation.

And Badger'll kick Nookie Bear's arse any day of the week (especially with help from Orville).

And if that don't work, I'm bringing a cat (smuggling it in the beard) and using Jen's tactics.