Saturday, February 25, 2006

U Can't Touch This!

Mes Amis

Stop! Hammertime.

Yes, MC Hammer blogs. So for those of you lying awake at night wondering what happened to him, you need wonder no more. Although apparently he's still been going on with his recording career as well as becoming a preacher. This, of course, according to the ever so slightly unreliable WikiPedia.

And yes, I'm procrastinating.

Au revoir



Jennifer Jordan said...

You, my dearest Russ-poo, are such a complete bastard.

Not only do I have that song in my head, but I have the full blown visual of you in those fucking balloon pants with wee wrap-around glasses and lots of shiny things dangling from you in odd places.

This is evil.

Sandra Ruttan said...

And don't forget holding a black book and pointing a finger from a pulpit.

What a combo.

Russel said...

And now, especially for Jen (so she can sing along at least to the first few verses):

U can't touch this (x2)
U can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
My-my-my-my music hits me so hard makes me say oh my Lord
Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and to hype beat
That's good when you know you're down
A superbowl homeboy from Oaktown
And I'm known as such
And this is a beat uh u can't touch
I told you homeboy u can't touch this
Yeah that's how we're livin' and you know u can't touch this
Look in my eyes man u can't touch this
You know let me bust the funky lyrics u can't touch this
Fresh new kicks and pants
You got it like that now you know you wanna dance
So move out of your seat
And get a fly girl and catch this beat
While it's rollin' hold on pump a little bit
And let me know it's going on like that like that
Cold on a mission so pull on back
Let 'em know that you're too much
And this is a beat uh u can't touch
Yo I told you u can't touch this
Why you standing there man u can't touch this
Yo sound the bells school is in sucker u can't touch this
Give me a song or rhythm
Making 'em sweat that's what I'm giving 'em
Now they know when you talk about the Hammer
You talk about a show that's hyped and tight
Singers are sweatin' so pass them a mic
Or a tape to learn what it's gonna take
And now he's gonna burn
The charts legit either work hard
Or you might as well quit
That's word because you know
U can't touch this

Jennifer Jordan said...

See, the minute I saw the long comment after, "This is for Jen," I knew enough not to look.

I am not the one forced to look up lyrics on-line, ead, copy then paste them in hopes of catching a human radio unawares.

The Plasmatics eradicte all songs floating between synapses - as does Iggy Pop.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Okay Russel, get the recording done in time for B'Con and download it onto Jen's cellphone.

Russel said...


Ohhh, cunning plans ahoy now...

Muahahahahaha!!! Jen, you shall never be safe from The Hammer.

Jennifer Jordan said...

And, because of your strange need to get that song in my head, neither will you.

Russel said...

I fear not the Hammer... I welcome his lyrical genius... u can't touch me...

that girl said...

russel I've watched you trying to get out of normal trousers. You know you'll die trying to get out of big baggy ones.